Fire for Fire

What has come over me?
This sudden reckless need to be seen through the eyes of God in his honey-gold gaze 
without judgement or condemnation 
a filter through which the past seems now only a ghost of my memory
I want this

Buried beneath the weight of my what ifs 
lies the gold of this enchanting love
I dig through the rubble of harder times  
looking for what ever treasures I might still find
Knowing all the while, 
This might be the last time 
I plow through trash 

He asks me in gentle tones 
to walk over the jagged edges of yesterday 
So why did you leave him your ex
Questions have never been a friend 
there are answers I no longer want to live
my open heart just seconds before, 
sits solid as stone in confusion 

What picture will my answers paint
I don’t want to leave the safety of his voice
I pray to God to give me truth he can embrace along with me 
This thing called love is a scary beast
dressed in the colors of a clown

He fits into me like a hand in a glove
My very perfect match for me
words and thoughts, dreams and hopes all aligned 
as if our stars had always known and were  only waiting to collide 

Lifting my face for another tortuous kiss
Like a child in prayer I ask for more
No longer my own my body sags 
beneath his expert prying hands
could this be love 
could it be him
What right to so much joy?